The Nightclub: Birthday Special
by Bellini Girl
Summary: I wrote this for my friend Frankie's birthday... many film characters, one weird situation, several Orlando and Keanu characters... enjoy! R n R! Sorry about the linebreak thing, I'm sorting that out now.
1. Default Chapter

The Nightclub Special : Frankie's Birthday  
  
Since it was her friend Frankie's birthday, Becky borrowed her older sister Katie's nightclub for the evening to throw her a party, mainly because it worked out cheaper than a card, wrapping paper and present.  
  
"So, who do you think I ought to invite?" Becky asked Katie.  
  
"Don't know, but I think Orlando Bloom characters are a pretty safe bet. And Keanu Reeves, of course. And Pippin."  
  
"Cool. Hey, can I use your weird remote control that lets me jump between films and stuff?"  
  
"Yeah. Go for it."  
  
"Cool."  
  
At Glenrowan Tavern, in the middle of the shootout  
  
"Oh, for goodness' sake, boys and their toys," said Becky, picking her way around broken furniture. "Now, where's Joe?"  
  
There was a clatter from the other side of the bar. "Hey, I think I'll have a drink!" said Joe, standing up. Becky ran over and grabbed him.  
  
"Hey, how you doin'?" asked Joe with a wink as he reached for the glass.  
  
"Trust me, you really don't want to do that," she said, pulling him into a safe corner.  
  
"Why not?" asked Joe, trying to get back to the bar.  
  
Becky pulled out her portable TV and showed him the bit of the film that would show him why exactly he shouldn't approach the bar in the middle of the shootout.  
  
"Ouch! I mean, a couple of inches to the left and my life really would have been over, if you know what I mean!" said Joe.  
  
Becky rolled her eyes. "OK, enough of the innuendo. Do you want to come to my friend Frankie's birthday party?"  
  
"Oh man, I don't know..."  
  
"There'll be lots of girls there."  
  
"Really?"  
  
"Yeah. In fact, she goes to an all-girls school."  
  
Joe's eyes lit up. "Yeah, count me in. When is it?"  
  
"Tomorrow. Here's an invitation."  
  
"Cool. Can I bring a friend?"  
  
"Like who?"  
  
"I don't know. Anyone."  
  
"Yeah, OK."  
  
"Great."  
  
"Good. One down, a hell of a lot more to go. See you later."  
  
Becky pressed a button on the remote and vanished into thin air.  
  
"Wow. That doesn't even make any sense," marvelled Joe, before returning his attentions to the barmaid.  
  
In the pirates' cave  
  
"Elizabeth's safe, just like I promised. She's all set to marry Norrington, just like she promised. And you get to die for her, just like you promised. So we're all men of our word really, except for Elizabeth who is, in fact, a woman," said Jack Sparrow with a flourish. Will rolled his eyes. "Hey, guys," said Becky, as she appeared on the spot with a loud pop. "Aaaargh!" screamed everyone. "A ghost!" screeched the pirates. "I'm not a ghost, you fools," said Becky impatiently. "I've come to ask Will and Jack if they'll come to my friend Frankie's birthday party." "Can I come?" asked Barbossa. "No," said Becky. "Why?" asked Barbossa. "Are you Orlando Bloom?" "No." "Are you Keanu Reeves?" "No." "Are you even remotely good-looking?" "No." "Would you bring a present?" "No." "There you go then," said Becky, handing invitations to Jack and Will. Barbossa burst into tears. "Hell's bells," muttered Becky. "What is it?" "Nobody loves me!" he sobbed. "Fine. Fine, fine, fine." Becky handed him an invitation. "But at least bring a gift." She pressed another button on the remote and vanished. "Now, where was I?" said Jack. "Ah, yes. So, Elizabeth's safe, just like I promised. She's all set to marry Norrington, just like she promised-" "Here we go," muttered Will. "-And you get to die for her, just like you promised. So we're all men of our word really, except for Elizabeth who is, in fact, a woman." "Say that one more time and blood will be spilt," growled Barbossa. "You see, this is why no-one likes you," said Will angrily. Barbossa began to sob again. "What? You said yourself that everyone hated you!" said Will, baffled at this sudden display of emotion. "But you didn't have to say it!" wailed Barbossa. "Big bully!"  
  
In the Matrix, Neo is flying to catch Trinity.  
  
"Hello!" said Becky cheerily, popping up in front of him. "Aaargh!" Neo swerved sideways and crashed into a wall. "Who are you?" "My name's Becky. Will you come to my friend Frankie's birthday party?" "Now's not really a good time," he said, looking at his watch. "Why?" "I need to go and rescue my girlfriend, who is plummeting towards earth as we speak." "Oh. Let's make this quick, then. Will you come?" "When is it?" "Tomorrow night." "Well, I think there's meant to be an orgy at Morpheus' house then, but nothing's final..." "Really? Who told you that?" "Justin Timberlake." "Ewww..." There was a loud crash from further up the street and a car alarm went off. "Dammit!" yelled Neo. "I missed her again!" "You idiot, Neo! The one thing you can do, the one thing and you can't even do that right!" yelled Trinity from the top of the now squashed car. "That really hurts, you know!" "Sorry dear!" Neo shouted back. "Now look what you've done! She won't want to go to the orgy now..." "Oh well. So, you want to come to the party?" "Yeah. Go for it." "Cool. Bring the other Keanus, OK?" Becky pressed another button on the remote and disappeared again. "Neo!" screamed Trinity. "Get your ass over here and help me get up!" "Coming, dear!"  
  
At the Council of Elrond  
  
"We are gathered here to discuss the future of Middle Earth," began Elrond, leaning forward in his chair. "It's looking bad." "Oh, lighten up, Dad," said Elladan. "Yeah! We brought beer!" yelled Elrohir. "And chocolate!" said Figwit. "And pipe-weed!" yelled Sam. "And electrolyte-free mineral water!" said Legolas. Everyone looked at him. "You just had to ruin it, didn't you, pretty boy," said Elladan disgustedly. "What? I also have low-calorie, soya tofu dip," said Legolas encouragingly. "You are not welcome at this party," said Elrohir. "It's not a party! It's a meeting! A serious meeting!" protested Elrond. "Excuse me, can I just butt in quickly?" said Becky, appearing with a loud pop. "No," said Elrond. "Sure. What's up?" asked Elladan. "I want to invite Legolas and Pippin to my friend Frankie's birthday party," said Becky. "Can I come?" asked Frodo. "Well..." Becky was about to refuse, but suddenly she remembered Barbossa's reaction to this. She didn't want to think about the sort of paddy that Frodo could throw. "Sure, why not. Everyone can come!" "I don't want to come," said Elrond sulkily. "Then don't, Mr Fussy-Pants," said Becky impatiently. "You're mean!" Elrond's face began to crumple. "Look, I'm sorry. You can come, OK? OK?" "No." "Oh, fine. I'll see those of you who do want to come at the party tomorrow." She put a stack of invitations on the central pillar and pressed a button on the remote, before vanishing. "So, back to the dip and mineral water," said Legolas, pulling out a brown paper bag. "Get out," said Elladan. 


	2. hee hee hee

Back at the Nightclub  
  
"So, how'd it go?" asked Katie, who was putting up streamers. "Great. I think most of them will turn up." Becky tied a bow around the cake. "All done!" There was a frantic hammering on the door. "Let me in! Let me in! I wanna see the Orlandos!" It was Frankie. Becky let her in. "They're not here yet, calm yourself down." Frankie was almost apoplectic with excitement. "Are they all coming?" "I think so." "Yay!" There was another knock at the door. "Orlando! Yaaaaaayyyy!" Frankie ran over to the door and pulled it open. Barbossa was standing there, holding a wilting tulip. "Happy birthday!" he said cheerily, handing over the tulip. "You're not Orlando!" wailed Frankie. "Where is he? What have you done with him?" "Nothing!" Barbossa protested. "Hmmmph!" Frankie stomped off to put the tulip in some water. "Welcome to the party, the food's over there," said Katie. "Ignore her, she's just overexcited." There was another knock at the door. "I'll get it I'll get it I'll get it!" yelled Frankie, running over to the door. She paused. "This better not be another old man," she said, pulling the door open. "How you doin'?" said Joe Byrne, handing Frankie a lamp. "Orlando!" Frankie screeched, throwing herself at him. "Wow, giving girls lamps as presents obviously works!" said Joe. "Yeah, what is with that lamp?" asked Becky. "Fresh from the Glenrowan siege," said Joe. "Clock the bullet holes!" "Oh, cool!" exclaimed Frankie. "This is my favourite present so far!" "What was wrong with my tulip?" asked Barbossa, sounding hurt. "It was almost dead," said Frankie harshly. Barbossa's lip started to wobble. "She doesn't mean it, have a drink," said Becky quickly, trying to prevent another outburst. "OK," Barbossa sniffed. There was another knock at the door. Frankie pulled it open to reveal Jack Sparrow and Will Turner. "Orlando!" Frankie yelled again, throwing her arms round him. "Happy birthday, where's the rum?" Jack gabbled, pushing past them. "Happy birthday Frankie, I bought you a pot plant," said Will, presenting her with a ficus. "It's a sulking plant!" gasped Katie. "Oh no!" said Becky. "I like it!" said Frankie. "Thank you Will, I'll go and water it." She disappeared into the kitchen with the plant. "Arr! It's the whelp!" cried Barbossa, pulling out his cutlass. "Whoa! Peace! Peace! Just for tonight, OK?" said Katie, stepping between them. "Fine!" spat Barbossa. "No problem with that," said Will. "Ooh, get you, whelp!" said Barbossa. "Don't call me that!" said Will. There was another knock at the door. Becky opened it to reveal all the elves from Rivendell, Mirkwood and Lothlorien, as well as a large group of hobbits and Neo, Ted and Nelson. "Hello," she said, surprised. "Hi," said Frodo. "Hello, meanie," said Elrond. "Aargh! Agent Smith!" yelled Neo, noticing Elrond for the first time. "I brought tofu dip!" said Legolas. "Err...come in," said Becky, stepping aside. "Put any presents on the table over there." "Whoa!" said Jack, spotting Legolas. "It's like a cross between Will and Elizabeth!" "Actually, I'm an elf," said Legolas. "Tofu dip?" "No thanks, mate," said Jack, wrinkling his nose. "Wow! Look at all the guests!" shrieked Frankie in excitement, before noticing Frodo cowering in a corner. "Pippi!" "Actually, that's Frodo," said Katie quickly, but Frankie was already running across the room towards him. "Pippi!" She leapt onto his back and hugged him. Frodo spun around and his eyes widened in fear. "Aargh! The Eye of Sauron!" he screamed, striking out with a chicken drumstick. "Relax, it's only Frankie," said Becky, guiding him into the lounge area to calm down. "Aaargh! The Eye of Sauron!" "No, that's a light bulb." Becky left him cowering under the coffee table and went to cut the cake. Katie went over to Frankie. "What do you think?" "Of what?" "Of the party." "Great!" "Cool." Katie turned away to reorganise the hors d'oeuvres, when Frankie decided she wanted another hug. "Huggles!" Frankie jumped onto Katie's back and wrapped her hands around her neck. "Owwww...Frankie!" Katie stumbled and fell over backwards, landing on top of Frankie. "Ooooh...bonk!" Frankie giggled, pulled herself to her feet and tottered off in search of the Orlandos. Katie got up, shook her head and went over to help Becky. 


End file.
